Police Report: Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine Assaulted in Alleged Carjacking

President Donald Trump shared a photo of the DOGE staffer after the alleged attack and threatened to “federalize” Washington, DC. WIRED obtained the police report.

Related posts:

How Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine and DOGE Got Access to a Federal Payroll System That Serves the FBI Efforts to Ground Physics in Math Are Opening the Secrets of Time Bass Enhancer Plugins: How Low Can You Go? Cherry Audio, Pulsar Audio, Softube: 3 Ultimate Software Deals!